Do You Want Fries With That?
by beepbeep
Summary: Han must get a job or Leia gives him the boot. McDonalds is his first resort. My first fic so be nice!


Do You Want Fries With That?  
  
"Han," Leia said over breakfast one morning, "don't you think it's about time you got a real job?"  
  
Han cocked an eyebrow over his newspaper. " A real job? What d'you call what I've got now?"  
  
"I mean something LEGAL," Leia prodded. "Sometime in our lives, we just have to grow up and get a good, solid job that we can count on."  
  
Han looked at her like she was clearly nuts. 'I still don't see what's wrong with the job I've got..." he mumbled, before being cut off my Leia, " Han, you've got one week to get a job or you're out of here!"   
  
This greatly troubled Han. He didn't have a certain level of education, or a slip of paper to prove it. He didn't want to be thrown out, so he decided right there and then, to make Leia happy, he would take the first, **solid** job he was offered. That, and, he was afraid of Leia. So, Han got out the employment section of the newspaper and scrolled his finger down and found a place:  
  
McDonald's  
132 Bad Food Dr.   
Excepting anyone.  
  
Han called out to Leia that he'd be back in a bit, hopped into the Millennium Falcon, paper in hand, and set off to Bad Food Drive. When he arrived, he landed his ship in front of a greasy little shop, with the big "Golden Arches" standing in front, and a cardboard clown stand-up near the door. It's sort of rude to put a cardboard clown stand-up right in front of a highly popular restaurant, because a lot of people are afraid of clowns, or some people just plain hate them. Han thought this place seemed vaguely familiar, and then realized that this was the place Lando told him he had picked up all those teenage girls. With a major disbelief that he was doing this, Han sighed and trudged into McDonalds.  
  
A young girl, with so much make-up she looked like Ronald McDonald herself, stood at the counter chewing gum loudly and staring off into space. Han had to clear his voice three times before she realized he was there, when she asked "Hello, welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"   
  
"Hi," Han said nervously, "Can I speak to your manager?"  
  
"OY FRANK!", the girl called loudly into the back, making Han jump. "ANOTHER CUSTOMER WITH A DEAD RAT IN HIS BURGER!" Then, when she realized Frank was right next to her, she said "Please go get the manager."  
  
When the manager came 'round, Han was bewildered. In walked a scary, tall, brute of a man, with shadows under his eyes, and a spatula in his hand. "How may I help you, sir?" he asked in a timid little voice, much like Tweety Bird's, that didn't suit him at all.  
  
"I'd - I'd, uh....you see, uhmm....Can I have a job?" Han stuttered, fear in his voice.  
  
"Right this way." the manager replied, whose name was Bernie. He led Han through the back, and started to show him how to work the fry machine. It was then Han guessed he had a job. He was extremely glad and horrified at the same time. Glad, that, Leia wouldn't badger him about jobs anymore, and she wouldn't throw him out, and he didn't get a job that was TOO hard - or, at least it didn't look it. But he was horrified with the fact that he would have to wear a hideous white apron, work with a bunch of pimply, teenage Star Trek fans, and about what Lando would say if he came here looking for his teenage lady friend's again. Bernie assigned one of Han's co-workers to show him how to work everything for the rest of the morning. Before he left, Bernie told Han he would get minimum wage - 3 an hour - and that he would be working the fry machine. When Han left, he wanted Leia to think he had been out breaking his back trying to find a job, so he killed a couple hours by cruising around in his ship.  
  
The next morning when Han put on his green McDonald's uniform, he went over last night's conversation with Leia. She wasn't very thrilled with his choice of a job. But she WAS, however, thrilled that he had truly looked for one to please her. Good enough for now, Han thought. He said goodbye to Leia, hopped into Millennium Falcon, and raced, again, to McDonalds. That day must have been jinxed - everyone there realized not to go near the fry machine when Han was there - and never to let him near it again. The first time Han tried to cook a batch, he had left them in too long, and they had burnt. The second time, his coworker, Chad, taught him how long to keep them in for, and Han did as he was told. When Han was grabbing the scooper to put the fries in their little paper bags, he knocked something - he wasn't sure, Han wasn't a great cook - into the fry machine. He stood there for a while, staring at the fries, seeing if anything bad would happen. When he was sure nothing would, he picked up the scooper and was about to take out the fries when they all flew into the air and landed into everyone's hair and clothes - including the customers, who ran out in a screaming frenzy. The other employees of McDonalds were very unhappy about this, but decided to give Han one more chance. It was almost 5:00, the end of their shift, anyway. Well, this time, was pandemonium. While Han was busy hiding under a table with a careless employee named Bill, looking at the Monica Lewinsky issure of Playboy, the fries were burnt. Han, in his rage, kicked the bottom of the fry machine, causing it to fall out and all the fries to spill on the floor. That was when they moved Han to the cash register.   
  
The next day, after Leia comforting him all night about the fry machine, Han wearily pulled on his McDonald's uniform, said goodbye to Leia, and left for his new day as a cashier. He pulled up to McDonalds in the Millennium Falcon, trudged through the door and stood himself behind the cash register. MOST of his coworkers eyed him now with an ever-growing dislike, Poor Han, but Chad and Bill told him everything he ever needed to know about being a cashier. The morning was pretty slow, only a bunch of senior citizens complaining about the prices - even with the senior discount - always ordering the same thing. Han strived to do a good job - and he was, really, and he hoped that if he kept it up, his coworkers would like him better. Around lunch time, businessmen filled the tiny little restaurant. Mainly lawyers and accountants and bankers - Han didn't like them that much - even Leia showed up, to congratualate Han on his good work, but soon, many of the left and the restaurant emptied. Around 2:30, the high schools were let out, and this is where Han had some problems.   
  
As you see, a group of giggly girls strode through the door - obviously friends of Lando's - walking up to the cashier, clutching their purses. Then, one girl, asked "Hey, aren't you a friend of Lando's? Han, or something? I'm Cassandra."   
  
Han mumbled something unspeakable under his breath and said "Wecome to McDonalds, may I take your order?" The girls gave their orders, and Han spoke through the microphone, collected money from the girls, and gave them their change. "Would you like that for here or to go?" He asked.   
  
"For here" they chorused.  
  
Han put their food on brown trays and laid it on the counter, calling 'Next', but then - "Wait a minute." said Cassandra, "We want these to go, so we could tell Lando about what a great job you're doing." Han could feel himself going very red in the face. He called to the plump lady behind them to hold on for a moment, and took their food and put it in brown bags, handing it back to them with a very cold look in his eyes. "You better not say a word to Lando." Han muttered when Cassandra clapsed the bag, his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Can I speak to your manager?" Cassandra asked, "Because it sound's like you're threatening me." She had really done it now. He was not to be taunted by a 17 year old girl. He screamed a few curses at her, which won't be mentioned here (let's try to keep this PG, people), took Bill's playboy magazine and threw it at her, telling her that's what she'd grow up to be, and told her to run home to Lando and have him say the same thing. The girls ran out crying, causing many other people in line to mutter disapprovingly and leave, and others to stand there, stunned at the pinup of Monic Lewinsky lying open on the floor. That was when they decided to give Han one last chance and make him the delivery boy. That, and, make sure Bill never brought that magazine to work again.  
  
The next day, after having yet another conversation with Leia about his last day at work, Han pulled on his uniform, cursing Bernie and all the Trekkies at work. He stiffly said good-bye to Leia, hopped in the Millennium Falcon, and took off, saying if he got put on another job he'd eat one of the burgers. After sharing a cup of coffee with Chad - Bill was giving him the silent treatment on account of his magazine - Han got his first order. As he took the brown bag into the Millennium Falcon, he looked at the Addressee - Lando. Han cursed whoever made his job such a living hell, and before taking off, rummaged through his ship seeing if he had a harpoon to take Lando's head off with - after he had stopped laughing at him. No harpoon. He arrived at Lando's in fifteen minutes, only to find Lando waiting outside. The shocked look on his face when Han pulled up - he guessed those girls hadn't gone crying to him. Han hopped out of the Falcon, all of a sudden very interested in the squashed bugs on the sidewalk. Lando came over and looked at Han fully in his uniform - then busted up. Han's hand's balled up into fists. Once Lando had stopped laughing, and was wiping tears from his eyes, Han forced a pretend grimace and said to Lando.....  
"It was pretty funny, but not as funny as this," and Han took Lando's hamburger, which was steming hot, grabbed hold of his belt, and dropped the hamburger into Lando's pants. Lando dancing around would sort of remind you of Riverdance, but the fun ended when Han sneered and said in a cocky tone, "Too hot to handle, Lando?" and took a chocolate shake and dumped half of it, too, down Lando's pants. While Lando stood their, weak in the knees, han threw the rest of his order onto the sidewalk, climbed into the Millennium Falcon, and left.   
  
When he arrived back at McDonalds, Bernie came rushing out, ranting and raving about the phone call he had received from Lando, when Han threw his hand up in his face to shut him up. That was when Han quit. He got his paycheck, his first, and last, at McDonalds, climbed back into the Millennium Falcon, and took off to home, where he told Leia the whole thing.......  
  
"Please don't kick me out Leia. Lando was such a jerk.." Han finished his explanation.   
  
Leia shook her head. "I completely understand, Han. And you worked so hard...." Han let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"We can get you another job next week." Leia said happily. That was when Han fainted.  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: I don't own anything, except Bernie, Chad and Bill. This is my first fic, please be nice! ^_^   
~ Sticky Mice  
  



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